i went down to the beach tonight & watched the people, the ones who linger long after sunset. they are more striking than the honey coloured bodies that take up the sands other hours of the day, enclosed in their conversations or meditations, carrying instruments or some small hot meal to devour. a couple, in mismatched clothes & tumbling hair, are pressed flat against the water. they wander up & down the shore insignificant against the endless waves. they are so at ease with each other that it makes me miss that feeling.

between the blue of the sea & the grey of the sky there is something mesmirising; whatever is on my mind smokes into irrelevance.

i want this certain freedom, this ability to say 'no' & not regret it, to uproot myself from memory & start a revolution. but i find myself missing feelings that were almost a lifetime ago.