it was astonishing,
wonderful, magnificent
the colours; black&blue
like a bruise, like the sky,
like the ink that splashes
across my plain white pages

there's a dress in my closet
plum&bronze, found among the clutter
of a hundred years, a hundred coats &
skirts & second-hand-possessions. it has
holes, like scars or hurtful memories
old rag-tag-silk sewn together
at the hands of a mermaid
or a sylph, an enchantress
with long grey hair.

there's a dress in my closet
i've never worn it.

it gets me all torn up
when i know that there's only
one-way-worth of affection,
you're the wall that won't
let me through
& i'm trying
& i get frustrated
& i get sad & mad & silly.

i wish you'd just give me the chance,
just tell me something i
don't want to hear.
tell me i can change