that the atmosphere would
push you down into the earth
make you cry
weep
wonder
the lucid nightmare chasing or stripping away at the sand, the sand or the binds between us. & i always put my head under the water, gasped because i thought it would be the last, steeped myself in panic. i threw all those sweet words away.
because i'm still standing,
i'm still sure
that this
that i
...
could have cast you in gold
could have had you in a prison
((i am your prison, youyouyou locked away in here like it means nothing but it means everything & it was made like opulence. it was made like everlasting.))
wanderlust.
or the trigger
i lasted
maybe.
i don't have a heart.
it is decided
there's a big black hole
& it sucks up the feeling
it sucks me up & engulfs me
& spits me out to suffer
but i don't.
i don't feel a thing.
((because))
i don't have a heart.
((maybe it has finally burst?))
one hour of your day
equated to my lifetime
wasn't it always?
i suppose not.
if i thought love was cheap,
then what the hell is this?
darling, it gets too cold for midnight.
it gets too cold to touch you
((her skin could freeze your veins))
words linger
a-little-too-long
at your mouth
...
they drop to the floor
i feel like following.
((this is not paradise))
falling out into the sun,
step.step.step
i'm sorry, are you talking to me?
& i tried so hard to be invisible
couldn't make you care.
i just need you
to pretend.