i'm speaking to
the sky.
((you & only you.))
listening to
the blues.
the blues.
all dressed up and
somewhere to be.
((but boy, i would rather be anywhere else))
my lips are burningswollen
my eyes want to shut.
((& all the world drops dead))
this is paradise in
the evening.
i can tell a lie
i can tell a lie
had my caffeine hit.
c-a-f-f-e-i-n-e
i always struggle
with the word.
((i struggle; i struggle; with words))
it is not enough
it's never enough for me.
i hope it rains.
i hope it rains;
i am bringing my jacket.
yes. i do not
care
that my dress will be
oh-so-hidden.
i do not care.
then my hair will
chaos-tendril-drench.
& i can laugh at
the fools who
tried so//too
hard.
a fortnight ago
there was a notice
pinned up in the
library.
for a 'poetry picnic'
i had no idea
such things
existed.
i am dry and spent
i am spent like my
keycard.
((four hundred dollars down the drain))
my hands are
old & brittle,
makes me wonder
why anyone should
give a damn.
i am petrified & singing,
spinning & thinking.
i am
about
to
be
sick.
this is
the worst
night of
my life.
& it's barely even begun
((can you spend five hours in silver stilletos?))
dramatics.
maybe this is
supposed to be
the pivot of my
measly
highschoollife.
but i can't imagine why
that would be so.
please, can you
capture me &
take me to mexico?
you & i &
a blue cabriolet.
i don't need
to do this tonight.
i only want to have
some conversation,
laughter & guava nudies.
i do not need
to be a beauty queen
or an insolent bitch.
oh, i am
deluded like
a sunshower.
though the skies seem infinite, i can assure you there's a universe out there. & if i keep your picture i could cling to you until the end of my life.
((but i'll cling to you without it))