11:24 pm . eluded devotion
i'm a uni student.
isn't
that
odd?

i stepped across the threshold & met the cold night & it was wonderful like you. searched the streets for a cup of coffee, despite the late hour & listen to blues & drive past lights & i remember...

that afternoon
when we sat
in the sun,
surrounded by
books & glass.

((my hair turned an artificial bronze by those streaks of golden light))

i was so afraid.

& still you said it
...
the most heart-
wrenching-gorgeous
thing i'd ever heard.

i almost believed you.
almost

i'm sorry that i never said it out loud
i'm sorry you didn't notice me trying
i'm sorry that i loved you so quietly.

i took down the portrait in my room. it was a gift from my parents for my seventh birthday; a girl watching a sunless sky. i replaced it with a photograph of a bridge below a cloudy night.

sometimes i believe in destiny;
we were never
meant to be.

i feel as though i escaped something tonight.
maybe it was you.

nostalgia . uncertainty