i stay up a little later
than my body asks of me
to avoid contemplating
which road to choose
on my way to tomorrow

i stay up a little later
to see if you make it home alright,
to see if you want to get coffee
down by the beach,
even though it'll be midnight by then
even though it is ridiculous.

i stay up a little later
to see if you will speak,
acknowledge what you've done
how low you've made me feel
((you never do.))

i stay up a little later
to avert the morning,
so that i can be
a child, again.

i stay up a little later
because i can't sleep,
because i lie beneath sheets
trapped with only me
& sometimes i'd
really rather die.