7:44 pm . forces
stuck in the space
that could be paleblue
it's more like palegrey.
lose myself in the indulgence,
find the scribble in my head
beat me down
beat me down

i freeze over from the blow
you don't leave a bruise.

the words, numbers
it doesn't find a place
in what i already know.
beat me down
beat me down

i shiver from the feeling
you make a shadow over me

quiet hysteria, pull myself
from the floor. barely want to breathe.
headaches, pointless tea. anything else.

overwhelmed.

turmoil over equilibrium,
line loads, statics &
all such nonsesnse. the
sudden revelation of why
i never liked physics.

curl up into a ball
lie there wanting to cry
lie there wanting to cry
thoughts cross my mind like
a web of untrained possibility.
i get the feeling that i know
what everyone else has known
for far too long.

why try to escape the perception,
if perception is the only truth?

panic takes over,
takes me for a drive around my head.
takes me to the carpet & then out onto the roads
for coffee, cake & the windows down,
music to keep my heart beating.

the feeling dissolves. the inadequacy,
inability, feeling so-damn-low. but then,
there's an insight to be held
in my moment of crisis

if i strive
for just content,
then i may as well be dead.

nostalgia . uncertainty