i cannot possibly express
the number of times i have been
told with some note of wonder
i never know what you are thinking
or what it is that you mean
& even when it isn't said out loud
they still have eyes to insist
upon the statement

well fine, that is it
i have let you read me transparent,
let you beat me, batter me, take
all my fears & make a joke out of it
i've tried to open up my palms in strings of sentences
just to let you fucking know
just to tell you all i fucking can
about who i am behind closed doors
& still you are not sure
& still you can't add it up
& still i've got the anger to say
how plain the truth is on any given day;
i don't need someone like you,
someone like any of you.