phonecalls that
may as well be
the poison
in my drink.

it's you again
always you
you and the way
you make me
feel worthless.

give me back my secrets
give me back my trust
give me back my word.
and if you don't
i'll just pretend
that it was a lie.

you don't want me
so i will make it that
i won't ever want you.

even though i thought
we would be friends.
even though i thought
i'd attend your funeral.
even though i thought
i admired you
adored you.

and you keep
making me cry
god, i'm so sick
of saying that.
but i'm so sick of
it being true.

crying alone
feeling alone
singing alone
and it was all
for from you.

even in the
depth of dark
you manage to
shatter my sadness into
a hundred shards.

testimony to
your so-called caring.

you didn't care about me.
or else, you would see
that you've hurt me more
than anyone else

why did you have to
impress me before you
pushed me aside?
why did you have to do it
in that order?

i'm sick of you
staring into my wounds
pretending to
dress them
but instead you
lace them with
lye.

murder me quickly then,
i don't want to linger
i would rather die.

i'm counting down.
how many times will i have
to see you?
five.
and after that
i will erase you
((the same way you did it to me))

you once said
something to the tune of;
if all else fails, just write
well you failed me
and so you see,
i write.

i don't know why
i ever thought
you were worth it.