i am whispering secret spells into
my lecture notes & staring at the wall,
refusing to even glance in your direction
for fear of some nuanced attraction
to your fingertips or wayward hair.

i order a second coffee, i know i shouldn't.
the waitress brings me a flat white though
it's not what i ordered. but the crema
has been crafted into a blazing sun,
so all is forgiven.

your friends walk in & i hear you speak
& i think i'm disappointed, but i can't
say why. maybe because you talk like me.

you follow me across the mirror
by design? or accident?
i hope for the latter.

but you've been staring
into my corner of the cafe
for half an hour.

i smile at your friends while leaving,
they are charming & look so in love.
the girl, she is smiling too.

she must suspect me.

i pull my dad's beanie over my ears & wide-eyed,
step out into the cold.