i think i saw your photo in the social pages
(maybe i've finally figured out your name)
((that was always the most unfair condition of our exchanges.))

all these years down the line
i haven't changed at all;
still not attracted to you,
still puzzled & enthralled
((by what? i am not sure.))

i still refuse every advance and every gesture. i'm doomed to fall for the right guys at the wrong time. i still lie in the sun, alone. with my books. with my thoughts. with a hundred... a thousand regrets. i can't make eye contact with anyone, not even friends.

you signify everything that is wrong with me.