10:38 pm . perilous
tonight will be my last chance
to decide whether i am brave or compliant,
when i meet you at the door &
say that i am the sorriest thing
yet i want you to understand,
submission to a convenient decision
is the easiest way to
merely exist.

maybe i am wrong & you are right
it could be as simple as that,
but i don't want to follow that path
just becuase i was there, at that time
& take to my demise with a smile & insist
everything is fine today
because i know there will never be
another fine day if i continue to follow
& not lead.

post.script. this afternoon i walked into a fortune teller's shop & picked out a card. it told me to risk everything.

nostalgia . uncertainty