3:03 pm . peruse
i love that i sit in the car with my mum & a big styrofoam cup of hot strong coffee & this cake that is terrible for my body but good for my thoughts & we watch the ocean whirl, twirl & reach for the sky. i put my old old green shoes on the dashboard & she says "i tried to throw those out last month" & i laugh & say that they do better on my feet than in the bin & she gives me that look that says she thinks i'm wrong but she doesn't mind.

& we listen to ryan adams & the decemberists & sufjan stevens & my heart might have stopped because it's tuesday & i'm guilty & i have nothing. i look at her thumbnail. see that she's painted it black, like all of mine & i remember why i stopped leaving my nailpolish out all the time. we put on our seatbelts & drive back home.

on the way i decide that i love the winter more than the summer. & that the sky should always be grey because it's the colour of possibilities.

nostalgia . uncertainty