the feeling like nothing
like miserablebadsadwoe
& it's so fine
it's sugar.

loving the feeling of being driven
to somewhere, but nowhere's always
been better.

lights, the threat of rain,
my soppingwetstripy socks
((the consequence of walking around campus without shoes, & on a day like today. oh, a day like today...))

just sensing the skin wrapped around me
blistering cold & frozen &
it's not that nice
but it's still sugar.

cardigan battling in the downpour
folders dragging me back
an umbrella that's about
to burst. stricken just knowing
or resolving. just terribly fine.

the pen you bought me
useless on the desk
waiting for the end
of my resistance
& i almost want it

there are days where i've been saved
& through the clutter of my mouth
the thoughts that swim too fast,
i could be drifting.