for days
to be inspired.
i've waited
all night
to get over you.
wrote six pages
of regrets&thoughts.
bluegrey episodes of murderous eloquence
there's something
rather ironic
about that.
don't you think?
how many sleeps has it been
since i hated you last?
...
maybe none.
you're screaming a serenade for the opposite of solitude. & it just goes to show, you have no idea what i want. you have no idea how to read me. you don't have a fucking clue about me.
the lights
are flickering
in fear of you.
i long for
a deluge.
i linger in
your shadow.
i stand
in your wake.
((you don't know how beautiful it is))
can't you see? you were always the villainess. i could never be the heroine, i just didn't possess that kind of bravery. so i played the victim instead.
make a ghost
of happiness;
i have to cry
over you.
i hated that you always thought it was always you. for once couldn't i be the reason for my suffering? couldn't you even allow me that?
the darkness sets on fire in a rush of unconscious murmurs & i turn to you & i turn to you & i tell you i'm not even sorry
stand like a wallflower
in perfectpolished armour.
all i have
to do
is look you
in the eye,
& you're stripped
down to your skin.
this is a fictional romance.
this is a fictional heartbreak.
you are my favourite poison
i'm breathing into the carpets, exhaling all the dust. i'm choking on every handful of words you give away.
just place me on the shelf where you keep the people you discard
when you're hiding i don't have to find those all-too-honest eyes.
i'm a different shade of blue tonight.