to the way things are
the way they should be
the fact & the absolute
illusion,
i'm playing with strength.
& what's the point when wavering
between petrified & content?
all i want isn't enough
but after all this time
it will have to do,
because really
honestly
truly
all the cliches are right
hearts are meant to be followed,
not tethered to my stupid ideas
of romance at twentythree
a success, a failure,
the most wonderous life
between the stills of a movie.
yet, decisions can reverse
i always knew how
to work in reverse.
today is friday
it's been the worst kind,
standing in the glassy hall
with the most adept truth
slapping me across the face
hello she says
it seems it is time
so i make a careless meeting,
a careless face
a careless gesture with
my one dead eye,
hands twisting complicated
puzzles in my lap,
around the legs of a chair
i do not really care
make my way to level three
for a fateful piece of green paper
it seems stupid, silly
but it is the difference
between today
& tomorrow.
lock myself in the bathroom,
poring over the words so subtly spelt
i feel insignificant.
stray through streets,
brewing ideas & implications
sit on the footpath, knowing
it's easy to read
it's too hard to say.