you wouldn't even
take it with you.
oh, fuck you.
i've spent everyday
thinking about you
...
i've spent
months at your feet.
& you wouldn't even
stare me down
you couldn't even afford me that
thinking that there was something
different about you
i don't need you to validate me
i don't fucking need you.
the place where
my trust died
years ago.
maybe if i told you...
maybe you would be interested?
but of course
you aren't.
tears again
againagainagain.
fuck. the amount of times
that you
have made me cry
and you're the only one
that does this to me
do i only want
what i can't have?
writing letters to you
though we both know,
i'll never let you read them.
i'll never let you near me
no...
you couldn't see
that i take
time to unlock.
i don't have a set of keys
to slip into your palm
i just...
i wish i did
but i don't//can't//won't
shivers in the
bones of my toes
as soon as i
read your name
on my page
your name
your name
your name
...
just; fuck you.
and this saltwater
tastes like
everyothertime
repitition for my mouth
in prose and thirst and song
...
i wish i could
stop wanting you
to be there for me.
what can i do
to see you in honesty?
wow. that would look
good on you.
but it's funny,
i've never seen you wear it.
you were always wearing
my dreams and hopes and secrets
like a perfume that lingers
in cold air
mess in my
head.
because
the next time i see you
i won't live up to
my tears.
you're just
so unaware of the
things you make me feel
that you can
never fix it
not like permanent.
not like permanent.
so i smile and
let you take me over
get my fix of
you. and then,
everything is fine
for the next
minute of my life.