sighing,
just breathing.
after school
it is almost three:thirty
i cannot decide...
no, i never could
the feeling of sunshine
through my school shirt
and i wonder
everything
i wonder if you will see me?
talk to me even?
i wonder if you'll ever just go away?
i wonder if you're telling truth or lie?
i wonder where to put my water bottle.
i wonder if i will ever try chai tea?
...
a scene stained orange,
a fortress perched upon a hill.
trills of laughter,
a scathing glance.
the grass is long, reedy, green
i want to run my hands through it
i don't.
sitting on the footpath,
void of dignity or grace
i wonder if this is normal?
my lips run dry
my taste buds are screaming
my eyes are losing faith
for the words on my palms
occasionally i look up,
the fortress stands
as always
cars; shiny, fast, rattling, threatening
i wonder where you are?
underneath a palm tree
flooded with meaningless
musings
lost in a book
distracted.
happy and sad
just where have i placed my thoughts?
looking in the opposite direction
i lose sight of you,
just barely.
tailcoats fluttering in your wake
you've seen me
and said nothing
i wonder what i've done?
i want to say 'hello'
but instead i'll pretend
i didn't see you at all.