memorised my essay
from the trials
...
it would have fit
like a fucking glove.
but apart from
barely answering
bladerunner//brave new world
it could have been worse.
although, band six is
out of the question.
alas, i will
be haunted by
aldous huxley and ridley scott
for quite some time
((a shame since i liked the book))
i'm free of english advanced
forever.
i will never again have
to rape a piece of literature
by studying it under
some innane rubric
hooray.
hooray.
funnily enough,
i felt much more calm
by talking to
ms thomas
after the exam
ok. she didn't outright say
"those were some shitty questions"
but comforting nonetheless.
i want a coconut drink.
i am loving my
friends more and more
for everyday that
i see them
but cannot
be with them.
this hsc is too much of an obstacle
i miss our bizarre conversations.
((laura is good for a sarcastic chat after every exam))
((i sometimes wonder whether our cynicism will be our downfall))
i simply must assert;
i will one day
seek my
revenge
upon the board of studies.
you nazis
nazis
a number for a name.
a number for a name.
i had two cups of coffee.
i am now
absolutely sure that there
is chocolate in this blend.
too bad cholesterol,
my staying awake in exams
will take precedence.
on the bus;
the boy across the aisle from me
is stretched across the seat
he is
besotted by
the girl who sits
next to me.
perhaps it is because
her voice is soft and
she wears funky glasses?
perhaps because she has
a textbook
for business law
on her lap?
maybe, because
she is falling asleep;
trying to lean on
thin air.
as i jump off the bus
i struggle with my things,
realising the hindrance
of see-through bags.
everyone thinks i am crazy.
i am carrying;
- coloured paper with
my scrawl all over it
((blasted bladerunner notes)) - postcards with pictures
of cats
& one that says 'GOD'
((make me an instrument of your peace)) - a broken watch
- notebook
- umbrella
- among my
highlighters-pens-and-madness
i really thought i
would cry after paper two
but i'm too tired
((yes, waking up in the dead of night to read noel pearson "just in case", is notnotnot fun))
and i can't decide
if i'm over you yet.
((i know i'm being unreasonable))
i wore my usual perfume today
it is called 'happy'.
i wanted to put on
a piece of jewellery
but i didn't want you
in my skin anymore.
because once you are in there
i can't get you out.
i want to ignore you.
but i
don't want to hurt you
...
how do you
make it look
so easy?